A Fifth Archetype

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So far, four archetypal deities had come together to create my supportive spiritual family. As I was getting acquainted with Green Tara, Kali, Medicine Buddha and Mahakala, I decided I needed a picture or statue of each one to put on my altar. But what I didn't know was that there was a fifth being waiting in the wings, and I found her the day I had a session with a gifted shamanic energy worker named Douglas Brady. On that day, to quote my diary: "I reached a place of love and light with Douglas that knocked my socks off."

Douglas Brady

Here is a quote from Douglas' website, www.sourcingyoursoul.net

Welcome to my practice of psychotherapy and healing. I am a body-mind centered psychotherapist and healer. For thirty years I have lived, practiced, taught, and facilitated the understanding of how our personal story and the resultant core patterns, belief systems and unresolved emotions directly impact our physiology and create our physical and psychological symptoms. My work is cutting edge. The techniques I use along with a highly developed intuition allow me to access your core disowned selves and energies that are the root cause of your symptoms. My work allows for the integration and healing of these unconscious forces and awakens you to your true potential and the gifts that live within you. You will feel connected to yourself and all of life again.

Our session began with a discussion of what I've always described as my secret wish to go home because I can't tolerate all the suffering on earth. I have this false belief that says if there is suffering on earth, I must take it on in order to somehow "help." Of course, Howard Bad Hand pointed out that my taking on others' pain does nothing but hurt me, and I was still trying to let go of that bad habit. Douglas and I explored my ability to feel pleasure, and how I decline to feel pleasure as long as there are beings suffering. When we were finally able to isolate the part of me that didn't suffer for others, Douglas asked how I felt, and I said, "Callous." Then I realized that my tumor was functioning as a callous, hardening my heart so I wouldn't feel the pain and suffering of the world. That realization gave me insight into my cancer along with tender compassion for the sad irony of my situation - although I thought that my tumor-callous was protecting my heart from pain, in reality, I had chosen to let suffering fester so close to my heart that it had almost killed me.

It struck me that the protection systems we create through our unconscious complexes are so inadequate and childlike compared to summoning what it takes to live courageously in each moment, deal with our fears as they come up, and release them when we realize they don't serve us.

Douglas asked me to send my awareness inside my tumor, and it felt like red jello. Then he asked me to go to the center of the red jello, and I found a smooth rock with a maze of holes in it...like a rock exposed to trickles of water for eons. I explored the maze of tunnels inside the rock, and then Douglas asked me to go to the very center of the rock. All of the sudden, I was in the center of a hologram of light, a gemlike geometric pattern with radiant lines of light extending in beautiful, orderly lines. It was very complex and extremely beautiful. Douglas whispered that I was in Source. I felt awe and astonishment, and I suddenly felt the presence of a being visiting me. She was tall, white, and she had wings, and she told me her name was Isis.

Angel Isis

I felt a re-patterning happening in my entire being. Douglas said that this entity was creating a resonance of her energy within me. He discussed my core issue about the separation between heaven and earth coming to resolution here in my heart. The Source energy in my heart is heaven on earth. There is no more polarity, no more paradox. He talked about Eva Pierokas' theories on the pleasure principle - that our basic nature is one of pleasure, but when we get thwarted when we're little, we learn to create negative pleasure and eventually that's what we settle for. An example of negative pleasure is when a little kid's parents aren't paying attention to her, and she starts bugging them until they yell at her. The yelling is a negative pleasure...it sucks, but at least they're paying attention to her. He said that I have a strong capacity for pleasure, and that it's very important to model the experience of pleasure and joy for others. It's a way of healing the world.

The Angel Isis was a hologram of light, unlike anything I had ever experienced before. And right before the session ended, I saw myself kneeling in front of a huge statue of Isis, the Egyptian goddess. My connection with the angel Isis was connected to a memory of being a priestess to the Egyptian goddess Isis. This was my first contact with Egyptian mythology in my shamanic inner work, and I had some investigating to do.

Isis, the Egyptian Goddess

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