Sunday, August 16, 2009

Letting the Angels Back In

This blog is a continual story that begins with the first posting in the Blog Archive, The Journey Begins. Click down the list to read entries, and click on arrows to reveal monthly drop-down menus.

This is one of my favorite poems by Rumi. It reminds me of the weightless invisibility of the tender heart that Chogyam Trungpa writes about.

Stop the words now.
Open the window
in the center of your chest
and let the spirits fly in and out.
                                       Rumi

Poetry, music and art can express the numinous regions of soul that we all feel but that are so difficult to describe in ordinary language. My motivation to write poetry comes from a need to express my pain, my despair and my immutable faith. I feel it's very important to acknowledge the transcendent, spiritual side of being seriously ill, but it's also crucial to express its shadow sides. I tend to be very hard on myself, expecting nothing less than perfection. The polarity of perfection and imperfection is really the polarity of spirit and matter. By accepting imperfection, we accept matter, we accept the grit that comes along with the grace. I write poems to express the struggle of this paradoxical situation we're all in. I hope you are touched by this poem, which was written after a particularly difficult chemo day, when I was struggling to find the solace of spirit.


Letting the Angels Back In

Letting the angels back in
to breathe light into the
closed chambers of my heart,
this rank dungeon, this
frightened tenderness of flesh.

Letting the angels back in 
to dissolve the cage
of persecution, its bars
adorned with thorny
black roses that never forget.

Letting the angels back in
to forgive the stones of my sins,
my radiant, shattered vows,
my failure to flourish,
my betrayals of the
goddess Aphrodite.

Letting the angels back in
to raise a fallen queen,
her land in shambles,
her soldiers confused
and wildly hacking at no
particular thing.

Letting the angels back in
to lead me beyond this 
fortress of grief into
a meadow of freedom,
a place where there 
is no impossible, where
photons entangle and 
birth universes.

Letting the angels back in
to anoint my feet, to kiss my hand,
to show me my body of
crystalline light.
Letting the angels back in,
angels too kind to disown 
a woman for often casting them out.




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4 comments:

  1. I send you bright light and blessings to assist you in your journey...
    xo Johnnie

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  2. Every time I see you, you are more beautiful!

    xoxo
    Dorothy

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  3. I am new to your site, but if you will allow a first impression... in the same way that it is impossible to see your own face without a mirror, you will find that you are the very angels you implore... they can easily be detected in those you touch with your love... they live in your heart... only a confused mind will ever tell you different... "It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." (The Little Prince)... love, rudy

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  4. Thinking of You; Believing in You.

    I'm not a writer. I often have difficulty expressing myself.

    Ria, YOU are a beautiful person! Beauty radiates from within (the heart of) a person. A change and/or scar in the exterior part of our being will not take away from this Beauty.

    It is natural for your heart to feel troubled and afraid. I want you to know that I will be thinking about you and praying for you and hoping that you will come out of this experience with a peaceful feeling. I love you. Elizabeth from Santa Fe

    ReplyDelete