Mastectomy

This blog is a continual story that begins with the first posting in the Blog Archive, The Journey Begins. Click down the list to read entries, and click on arrows to reveal monthly drop-down menus.

In the process of treating cancer, there are times when the body suffers, emotions ride a roller coaster and words vanish from the mind. These are times when even prayer, meditation and the solace of loved ones can't ease the ache in our heart. But I'm here to say that those times pass, and when our life force begins to strengthen, our connection with Source comes alive once again. I finally have the inspiration and strength to continue my blog, and I'll start with the practical details.

My last blog entry was in August, just before I went to New York to stay with my sister and undergo a mastectomy at the Ashikari Breast Center in Dobbs Ferry, New York. The chemotherapy exacerbated some other chronic health issues, so going through surgery only six weeks after finishing chemo was exhausting. Then I started a series of 33 radiation treatments in November. So far, the only noticeable side effects from that have been sunburn and an itchy rash.

The mastectomy has left me with limited range of motion in my left arm. I'm working with a wonderful physical therapist, but I'm finding that I have to take it slowly with the stretching exercises, or my tendons, muscles and nerves get inflamed. Working with Trudy Turvey of Healthlinks Clinic in Boulder has been very nourishing on many levels. She is very dedicated to her work with breast cancer patients, and is a compassionate, loving person. During our sessions, we have deeply inspirational conversations about the breast cancer experience, and I leave her presence feeling seen and honored for my efforts towards physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health.

Trudy Turvey

During the course of my treatment this year, I have grown completely accustomed to stripping off my top and bra and exposing my breasts for a clinician to stare, prod, massage, irradiate...whatever. The breast itself is quite numb, and that is definitely a bizarre sensation that will take me a while to get used to. I have four surgical scars on my body. One on my left breast, one underneath my right breast where an implant was inserted so that my two breasts would look more like a matched set, one under my left arm where lymph nodes were removed, and one on my chest above my right breast where my chemo port had been inserted. When I look in the mirror, my reflection shows indelible marks of what I have endured. My injuries and scars are so over the top that I've been forced to transcend my ego identity and develop a self-image based on deeper, more soulful values, and although my body is battered, I love and accept it more than I ever have.

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